Shame, guilt, and authenticity

Ramin Abbas Has MAJOR Questions
by Ahmad Saber

Toronto: Atheneum/Caitlyn Dlouhy Books, 2026
$29.99 /9781665960694

Reviewed by Trish Bowering

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I can’t say enough about this fantastic debut YA novel (for ages 14 and up) by Metro Vancouver-based rheumatologist by day, and now published author Ahmad Saber.

I stayed up very late one evening to finish Ramin Abbas Has MAJOR Questions because I couldn’t put it down. 

The novel itself is excellent, but more than that, placing it in the context of the author’s experience enhances the reading.

It’s clear that Saber has put his heart and soul into this book, and it shows. In his forward included in the Advanced Reader’s Copy edition, he recounts his own upbringing in a strict Muslim household, one axiom being, “It may still be okay to fail in this life, but you cannot afford to fail in the next.” He adds:

So at first, I completely ignored my authentic identity. But this act of self-betrayal slowly vacuumed all joy from my life. It took a lot of soul-searching to recognize who I’ve always been and to have the courage to love that person, while also not feeling like I was betraying my religion and my culture. In fact, this book was a major part of that process. Once I sat down to write Ramin’s story, I found my own, long-forgotten voice through his.

We’re introduced to main character Ramin, a grade 12 student at conservative Muslim school Hikma High in Toronto, where he heads the Origami Club (members: one, including Ramin), studies hard to get good grades, and volunteers, all in aid of his application to NYU for pre-med.

He also fights a daily battle with his “two-headed monster” of guilt and shame for his attraction to boys. The first pages of the novel see Ramin alone, praying at his mosque after others have left, hoping that his prayer will help him reconcile his sexuality and his faith:

The two-headed monster living rent-free in the dark basement of my brain. One of his heads is guilt, the other is shame. He lurks in corners, waiting for the perfect moment to whisper that no matter how many tears I shed in Allah’s devotion, I’ll never be quite as Muslim as all the other Muslims who prayed here an hour ago.

Ramin has a major crush on the captain of the soccer team Fahad. When he has to join the team in order to satisfy the Phys Ed requirement for graduation, things get weird for Ramin.

The central struggle for Ramin is the tension between his true, authentic identity, and his understanding of his Islamic faith. What makes this novel interesting to me is Ramin’s self-understanding; he knows who he is and what he likes. He’s gay, and though it causes him so much distress, it’s not because he doesn’t know it. He also knows he loves musicals and adores the song “Defying Gravity” from Wicked, but what brings him so much joy is considered haram (a sin) in his faith. He also loves Allah and his faith.

For a person like me who isn’t overly familiar with the Muslim faith, Saber writes the book to a level that I could understand some of the principles of the faith and genuinely feel for Ramin’s no-win situation and the pain that it caused him. I appreciated the reminder that though Ramin’s parents and imam are particularly conservative, the Muslim faith isn’t a monolith, as exemplified by the Saleh family in the book, who take a more forgiving and joyous interpretation of the faith to the way they live their lives.

Of course, the themes in Ramin Abbas Has MAJOR Questions can be translated for other people, and to other faiths. I suspect the novel will resonate deeply with those who have been raised in conservative religious households, as many of the concepts the prohibited or forbidden will be similar. I appreciate the fact that Abbas wrote this book in a way that Ramin could be gay, and also be Muslim; he didn’t have to give one up. He did have to sacrifice some relationships—no outcome in this type of situation can be perfect—but as the book finishes, the schism that has been so painful for him is beginning to heal.

Coming to this book in middle age, and as a fairly non-sentimental reader, the novel surprised me when I actually almost cried at one point, so invested was I in this wonderfully well-developed character of Ramin Abbas. His struggle is not only so real and relevant to many teens, but also having parented a young adult, I can see Ramin’s parents’ struggle and also the joy of acceptance as personified by the lovely Mrs. Saleh, who is amazingly sympathetic to young Ramin. Such great characters!

Also, there’s a bit of romance, which was very sweet, there’s blackmail and intrigue, a big soccer tournament, and one touching scene featuring a Desi drag queen. What more could you want? This is a sometimes poignant, sometimes joyfully triumphant novel that was a pleasure to read. I hope lots of teens will feel seen by this novel, and that they will feel less alone with their struggle. Ramin Abbas Has MAJOR Questions is a well-written, fun yet serious story that will entertain while educating, and full of hope and promise.


[Editor’s note: an earlier version of this review appears on Trish Bowering’s book blog. The revised version is reprinted here with permission.]

Trish Bowering lives in Vancouver, where she is immersed in reading, writing, and vegetable gardening. She has an undergraduate degree in Psychology from UVic, and obtained her MD from UBC. Now retired from her medical practice, she focuses on her love of all things literary. She blogs at TrishTalksBooks.com and reviews on Instagram@trishtalksbooks. [Editor’s note: Trish was interviewed as part of our series. She has reviewed recent books by Aaron Cully Drake, Patricia Finn, Steve Burgess, Vikram Vij with Jennifer Muttoo, DL Acken with Aurelia Louvet, Keiko Honda, Michael Bourne, Spencer Watts, and Kathy Page for BCR.]

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The British Columbia Review

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Formerly The Ormsby Review, The British Columbia Review is an on-line book review and journal service for BC writers and readers. The Advisory Board now consists of Jean Barman, Wade Davis, Robin Fisher, Barry Gough, Hugh Johnston, Kathy Mezei, Patricia Roy, and Graeme Wynn. Provincial Government Patron (since September 2018): Creative BC. Honorary Patron: Yosef Wosk. Scholarly Patron: SFU Graduate Liberal Studies. The British Columbia Review was founded in 2016 by Richard Mackie and Alan Twigg.

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