All hail… King Dummkopf?
We’ve Come for Your Eggs (And Other Reasons to Annex the North)
by Septimus Brown
Victoria: Look—See—Press, 2025
$23.00 / 9781738076666
Reviewed by Sheldon Goldfarb
*
Imagine a dragon. No, not that sort of dragon, big and fire-breathing. No, imagine something smaller, a miniature dragon that can fit in his owner’s pocket (his wizard’s pocket), and who breathes something called frostfire, which is cold instead of hot (usually). And who can talk.
Imagine a world of talking animals mixed in with human beings, and imagine that the settings include a place called Fangcover Island in a land ruled over by King Trudera and Dravo Eby. Ah, political satire and fantasy, but mostly—in the hands of Septimus Brown (When the Sky Breaks), the pen name of a Victoria author—a coming of age story about the miniature dragon, Glimm.
Glimm has a difficult master, a wizard named Jorvun, who uses food as a punishment, withholding it when he thinks Glimm has become too uppity, putting you in mind of Oliver Twist or perhaps Black Beauty. Anyway, Glimm and Jorvun live in Valorica, a land south of Frostvale at a time of trade war. Jorvun hears that King Trudera is planning his succession, and this might mean Jorvun can become king. So, he and Glimm set off for the North, somehow acquiring a supporting cast of misfits who want to overthrow the Canadian (sorry, Frostvalen) government in order to annex Frostvale in the name of Valorica’s King Dummkopf (I wonder who that can be).
It’s all a lighthearted romp, and the interactions between Glimm and Jorvun are interesting at first. Glimm is a clever young dragon but in need of disciplining. Jorvun has to stop him from eating a messenger pigeon and then has to get him to keep quiet rather than make offensive comments about a potential ally. The beginning promises a nuanced development of a father-son type relationship, but then the book seems to lose its way.
From a stern but helpful disciplinarian Jorvun turns into an incompetent bully. Glimm comes more and more to the fore in a sort of fantasy of displacing the evil father. This might work in a fairy tale, and We’ve Come for Your Eggs is after all a work of fantasy, but beneath the wizardry and dragon powers, the book held out the promise of a sensitive exploration of real interpersonal dynamics.
As for the political satire, well, it doesn’t develop either. It’s one thing to talk about Trudera, Fangcover Island, and a trade war with a thinly disguised America—but to what point? Is the trade war supposed to be foolish? Necessary? A distraction? Is there some deeper point being made? But what? Jonathan Swift would have gotten us thinking about human nature and its foolish wars, and it’s true Glimm is rather unhappy with killing, but he still takes part in a military expedition, the result of which remains unclear even at the end of the book.
What does survive is Glimm’s development; he does develop his powers, and not just his magical ones. He learns to be a leader, and this captures the last part of the book, which regains the strength of the opening chapters. In between, however, instead of Glimm being able to struggle against a father figure, he is mostly brooding to himself about the ethics of deception or worrying about how to protect his wizard even though the wizard seems not to deserve it and ends up more and more sidelined.
Of course, it turns out the end of the book is not the end of the story. There is a sequel volume to follow in which it seems Glimm will lead an army across the prairies to install Jorvun as king. It’s a bit unclear why he wants Jorvun to be king by this point, but we will have to wait for part two to see how the story evolves: maybe the Jorvun-Glimm relationship will develop or transform. Maybe Glimm will develop a romantic relationship with the flying cat who’s been helping him.
Or maybe Glimm will discover why the Frostvalen flag has a dragon symbol on it: is Glimm the meant-to-be king? Is there some deep secret to be discovered?
Or maybe the gang of misfits will develop a stronger role. They have their amusing moments, like the medieval-style knight who sells nutritional supplements that always give him a hangover. And there’s a nice touch when the dangerous pirate turns out to be female. But mostly they stay in the background and don’t seem to develop. When action does erupt, the story becomes more engaging, but when the characters sit around bickering, the interest fades away.
There is a clever set-up here, the mix of Game of Thrones medievalism with modern sensibilities. To prepare for the adventure, for instance, the wizard packs a few wands and a bank card. More needs to be made of it, though: we need more depth, more character interaction, and a story in which Jorvun is more than a cruel villain.
*
Sheldon Goldfarb is the author of The Hundred-Year Trek: A History of Student Life at UBC (Heritage House, 2017), reviewed by Herbert Rosengarten. He has been the archivist for the UBC student society for over twenty years; he’s published a murder mystery and two studies of William Makepeace Thackeray. His mystery, Remember, Remember (Bristol: UKA Press), was nominated for an Arthur Ellis award. Sheldon’s latest book, Sherlockian Musings: Thoughts on the Sherlock Holmes Stories (London: MX Publishing, 2019), was reviewed in BCR by Patrick McDonagh. Originally from Montreal, Sheldon has a history degree from McGill University, a MA in English from the University of Manitoba, and two degrees from the UBC: a PhD in English and a MA in archival studies. [Editor’s note: Sheldon has reviewed books by Rodney DeCroo, J.A. Weingarten (ed.), Catherine Lang, Reed Stirling, Bill Arnott, paulo da costa, and Chris Honey for BCR. In 2022, he contributed a comedic poem, “The Ramen,” based on Poe’s “The Raven.”]
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The British Columbia Review
Interim Editors: Trevor Marc Hughes (nonfiction), Brett Josef Grubisic (fiction and poetry)
Publisher: Richard Mackie
Formerly The Ormsby Review, The British Columbia Review is an on-line book review and journal service for BC writers and readers. The Advisory Board now consists of Jean Barman, Wade Davis, Robin Fisher, Barry Gough, Hugh Johnston, Kathy Mezei, Patricia Roy, and Graeme Wynn. Provincial Government Patron (since September 2018): Creative BC. Honorary Patron: Yosef Wosk. Scholarly Patron: SFU Graduate Liberal Studies. The British Columbia Review was founded in 2016 by Richard Mackie and Alan Twigg.
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